Out of Bounds
by Lady Tsuru27
Summary: Ratchet should have listened to Clank and stayed home for some R and R...
1. Arrival

Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank. I am only borrowing it for my amusement and the amusement of those who read this fic.

Title: Out of Bounds

Warnings: Maybe some spoilers for ACiT, slight cursing, stupidity

Pairings: None so far, and I don't really plan on including any.

Rating: PG-13 for language

Genre: Humor

Summary: They set out to find the Lombaxes, but Ratchet and Clank ended up getting more than they bargained for…

Notes: This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever written (with the exception of "My Big, Fat, Fake Wedding", anyway). This whole story was inspired by the son of a friend of ours. My husband and I had gone to visit them, and I brought along my copy of _Ratchet and Clank_. As soon as the kid saw Ratchet, he yelled, "I want a cat like that!" We all thought it was cute, but the gears in my head started turning and… well, you can read the result. It's a one-shot for now, but if I get positive reviews then maybe I'll continue. I'm on a R&C kick right now, taking a break from SSBB's Marth and Meta Knight, so… enjoy! ^_^

Out of Bounds

He had always had a thirst for adventure. Even as a little Lombax kit, he had shown his bold nature by climbing trees and buildings… anything he could, really. It had scared the living daylights out of Itra, the orphanage nurse who always looked after him. He had fallen several times, even broken an arm, but it never deterred him.

Even after the last adventure, he was ready for more. Clank couldn't understand how he could still be so eager. "I just think that we need some rest," the robot was saying as they flew towards their destination, "Just for a little while."

"Naah," Ratchet shook his head, "What would I do, sit on the couch for a week? Sounds great, but I really want to explore this planet. The scanners say it's the only one with life on it in this galaxy. Maybe it's the Lombaxes."

Clank only sighed as Ratchet started the landing process. The Lombax eagerly took in every sight that he could. So far, they were coming in over water. They soon reached dry land, and he maneuvered the ship around to find an open space. The forest gave way to fields, and he landed when he could see the distinct outline of a city.

"Look at this place," Ratchet said as they got out of the ship, "The sky looks really clear. I wonder where all the other ships are?"

"I do not detect any," Clank replied after a moment, "but there are life forms just over there." He pointed to the city.

"Great. Let's go," Ratchet began walking with Clank in his usual position on his back.

*****

What a mistake that had turned out to be. Not five minutes after entering the city limits, he noticed that the buildings were much taller than they had looked from a distance. The people were also very tall. They were huge--some standing at least twelve feet high--and covered in pinkish skin. A few people had stopped to look at him, pointing and whispering to one another. Someone had even taken a picture of him.

It should have been a warning to him that these people were not very experienced with life forms from other planets. After wandering around the city, Ratchet had suddenly been grabbed by one of the creatures wielding a metal hoop that went around his neck. When he cursed at them, they had gone into a flurry of excitement. He had been taken into a building, stripped of his clothing, and examined by at least a dozen of these people. If Clank hadn't busted his cage open, he may never have gotten out of there.

Now Ratchet was wet, cold, naked, and in fear for his life. He sat huddled behind a dumpster in an alley, holding Clank close to him as the robot scanned the area for hostile forces. A few of the uniformed guards had run past, but they hadn't noticed the two. It had started raining a few minutes before, and Ratchet could honestly say that he couldn't remember being so miserable. At least when he had been in prison, he was wearing clothes.

"None are in this area," Clank said, looking up at Ratchet, "Should I go find something for you to wear?"

"Y- yeah, we'll do that once those other people leave," Ratchet watched the passing crowds warily.

Something clattered behind them. They both instinctively spun around, ready to face one of the beings, but it was an animal. It had knocked over a garbage can lid, and was now looking at them with large green eyes. It's fur was orange, and it was almost the same size as Ratchet, though it stood on four legs.

"What the hell is that thing?" Ratchet asked.

"I do not know," Clank answered, "It looks a bit like you."

"Yeah, sure…" Ratchet muttered, backing away a bit as the thing came closer.

"Meow," it said.

"Uh… I don't guess you talk, huh?" Ratchet asked it, and it walked over and rubbed against his ankles. "You do look a little like me… Are you in hiding, too?"

"Meow," it said again, and leapt onto another trash can lid.

As Ratchet stepped forward to chase it, he was suddenly grabbed from behind. "Look at this!" a feminine voice said behind him as he struggled, "A cat! Poor thing looks starved."

"I don't know, Honey," a deeper voice commented, and Ratchet twisted his head around enough to see a woman holding him and a man standing behind her. "Are you sure it's a cat? It looks sort of weird. Look at those ears!" the man shook his head.

"Oh, it's a cat all right. What else could it be?" the woman turned Ratchet fully around and petted him on the head, "You poor kitty. Are you all alone here?"

Remembering what had happened the last time he'd spoken to these creatures, he said the safest thing he could think of: "M- meow?"

"See?" the woman looked pleased, "Oh, Honey, can we take him home? He's just what Alexis wanted!"

"Well… all right," the man nodded, "We'll drop him off at the vet and pick him up in time for Christmas."

"She'll be thrilled!" the woman squealed and hugged him close. Ratchet thought that he'd suffocate, but she released him when the man stepped forward and stooped to the ground. "What is it, Harold?"

"Look at this thing," Harold held Clank in his hands; the robot had stopped moving, appearing to play dead, "Didn't Jason want one of these?"

"Oh, Dear, we don't want to get him one that you found on the street!"

"Look, Jenny, I think it's working," the man pointed to the glowing orb on Clank's head, "And it looks brand-new. You can't find these for less than a hundred bucks, anyway."

"Well… I suppose…" Jenny sighed and gave Ratchet a pat on the head, "Now, let's get you to the vet! I wonder if he's old enough to neuter…"

As they were carried away by these strange beings, Ratchet wondered if perhaps they should have stayed with the white-coated beings. Being poked and prodded was not pleasant, but he didn't like the sound of "neuter."

End

Well? I know it's short--it was just an idea that I couldn't get out of my head. If you ask me to continue, I might. Thanks for reading! ^_^


	2. Imprisoned

**Notes: Wow, thanks for all the reviews! I didn't expect it to go over that well! Because everyone's asking me to, I've decided to continue. I hope the following chapters will amuse you as much as the first one did. In this episode: Ratchet's Fight to Keep His Balls! Heheh, sorry… That's maybe a bit crass… Besides, that's sort of a lie. The fight scene doesn't happen until next chapter. But anyway, enjoy! ^_^**

**Chapter Two: Imprisoned**

Ratchet didn't like the sound of the woman's words. She had mentioned neutering, and that was never a good thing. He began to panic as he was carried to a wheeled vehicle parked on the other side of the street. The woman carried him the entire time, stroking his head and murmuring things that didn't ease his fears at all. "Come on, precious!" she cooed, "Let's go to the doctor, and he'll fix you right up! Yes, he will!"

He wanted to curse at her, but he was afraid that any admittance of verbal ability would alert the white-coated beings. One syllable from him, and they were sure to come rushing at him from all sides. Perhaps these two creatures were of the White Coat's ranks, disguised to test him. They seemed to accept that he was just like the furry critter he had seen earlier, so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

However, they were not going to take him without a fight.

As they neared the vehicle, he began to squirm in the woman's arms. She told him to be still, calling him "precious" and "baby", and this added fuel to the fire. Ratchet began to claw at her arms, though his nails weren't long or sharp enough to cut her. He wished they were. He had a nasty habit of biting them, and that would have to stop if he was to survive this world and get back to his ship.

The woman gasped and held onto him tighter, as the man opened the vehicle door for her. She got in and buckled up, holding Ratchet under her arm before strapping him into the seat with her. The man got in on the other side, put Clank in the back seat, and started the car. Ratchet kept up his fight as the vehicle began to move, and the woman continued to hold him tightly.

"Harold, look at him… He's scared, but he won't even claw me! He might be really sweet."

Sweet? Ratchet growled at that word. He would show her how sweet he was. Moving his head up a little, he opened his mouth and bit down on the woman's arm.

"OW!" she let go of him immediately, and he dropped to the floor. There was no place for him to go, though, and soon she had him by the scruff of his neck. "Naughty kitty!" she set him back on her lap, but kept her grip on him so that he faced away from her.

"I told you to be careful," the man said, "I hope he doesn't have rabies…"

"Oh, Harold, he's just scared!" the woman petted Ratchet's back, ignoring the growl that issued from his throat. "Besides, the operation will tone down that aggression."

That didn't sound good. Ratchet tried not to gulp down the lump in his throat, and he suddenly grew slack in the woman's grip. Perhaps if he came peacefully, he'd get out of the "operation."

"See?" the woman said, patting him again, "He's starting to calm down. Poor thing… I wonder if he once belonged to someone?"

"I don't know," Harold said, "You know, Jenny, I'm starting to think that you'll like him more than Alexis!"

Jenny laughed. "Well, he is cute, isn't he?"

"Sure," Harold muttered, rolling his eyes.

Ratchet rolled his, as well. He objected to being called "cute," but he didn't have time to protest the matter. The car stopped and the woman stepped out. "I'll be just a minute," she told the man, and carried Ratchet towards a small building.

Ratchet's stomach churned as he realized that Clank was still in the car. He squirmed, trying not to shout profanities, but the woman's grip was too strong for him. He watched in horror as the building came closer. Then they went through the door.

It was definitely some sort of doctor's office. Ratchet recognized the smell of cleaners and latex, but there was another smell that mingled with the usual doctor's office scents. It was the smell of wet fur. He looked around as he was carried up to a desk; Jenny stood behind another woman with a small furry thing in her arms. Looking around, Ratchet could see that there were several furry things in the room, each a different color and shape, and that they were each with a creature that resembled the tall woman who held him now. They were obviously masters with their pets, and that really scared him. These people thought he was their **pet**.

Jenny stepped up to the desk as the woman in front of her left. "Hi, Margo," she said with obvious friendliness in her voice. They were obviously partners in crime.

"Hi, Jen," the woman behind the desk smiled up at Jenny, then grinned at Ratchet. "And who's this?" she asked, extending her fingers to Ratchet's face. He tried to resist the urge to bite her.

"A stray we found just now," Jenny explained, "I know it's a little short-noticed, but… Well, could you board him? Just until Christmas; we've been looking for a cat for Alexis, you know, and… Well, he just sort of came along!"

"Aww!" Margo beamed up at them, scratching Ratchet under his chin, "Well, we can probably fit him in. We have a lot of kennels reserved, but let me see…" She typed on the computer for a minute, and then said, "OK, I've reserved one for you. I can take him now… Would you like us to check him over, too?"

"Yes, that would be good. Give him his shots, too. And would you recommend neutering him? Harold thinks we should, but I don't know…"

"Oh, absolutely!" Margo stood up and brought a cage over, "It's very beneficial, and it won't hurt him at all!"

"_Yeah, right!" _Ratchet thought, and growled as he was lifted into the cage.

"OK, then that's it?" Margo asked, setting Ratchet's cage on the desk and turning back to the computer.

"Mm-hmm," Jenny said.

"All right, then! That's the neutering, shots, and check-up… That'll be a hundred twenty."

There was a pause as Jenny gave Margo a plastic card. Margo typed something on the computer, then handed the card back to Jenny.

"We'll charge for the boarding when you come get him," Margo stood up and Ratchet felt that the cage was being lifted, "Alexis is going to love him!"

"I know," Jenny said, "Bye, little guy! Be good for the nice doctors!"

"_As if!" _Ratchet thought vehemently as he was carried into a hallway. The sound of barking hit his ears as they approached a door in the back. When Margo opened the door, Ratchet felt like cursing again.

It appeared to be a prison. The opposite wall from the door was stacked with two rows of cages in at least six columns. There were even more cages on the wall beside the door. Inside some of the cells, furry creatures barked and meowed and generally caused an uproar. Ratchet felt that he was going to wet himself as he was deposited into one of the empty cages. Margo closed the door and walked away, leaving Ratchet crouching in the corner of the steel cage next to a box of gray sandy stuff.

Margo returned soon and filled two steel bowls with water and a mixture of what looked like rocks. Then she left Ratchet to contemplate his surroundings and plan his escape.

*****

Meanwhile, Clank sat in the back seat of the car as Harold and Jenny drove home. Based on his observations, he concluded that these people had left Ratchet at some sort of doctors office to be operated on. That couldn't be good. They also thought that he, a highly-functional robot equipped with the most advanced A.I. features, was a mere toy.

The indignity of the situation made him angry, and yet he felt that saying something would not be the best course of action. If he was to be a toy, then he would be a toy. Perhaps he could even get away with speaking, as long as he didn't sound too thoughtful.

Soon the vehicle stopped, and both people got out of it. Harold picked Clank up from the back seat and carried him towards a modest-looking house with an assortment of decorative shrubs in the yard.

Clank couldn't quell the feeling of apprehension that built in him as he was carried through a door and up a flight of stairs. "I'll hide him for now," Harold said to Jenny as he mounted the stairs. Clank was carried through another door, into what appeared to be a bedroom. Then he was unceremoniously shoved into a closet. The door closed, and he was surrounded by darkness.

*****

"NOOOOOO!" the cat seemed to scream as he was held down on the examination table. Sarah could almost swear that he was actually saying "No," in plain English. She shook her head; it had been a long day. She needed to rest.

Beside her, Margo struggled with the cat. Sarah looked at the thrashing feline, then at her co-worker. The other woman nodded her head, giving Sarah the go-ahead sign. She pulled out a syringe and filled it with sedative.

The cat yowled again when the needle found its mark. It took only a few seconds for the drug to take effect, and soon he was lying on the table weakly mewling. "Strange one, isn't he?" Sarah commented as Margo began the examination, "I mean, I swear he just called me a bitch!"

"I bet he would, if he could!" Margo grinned, shining a light in the cat's ear, "He certainly doesn't like us too much."

As the two nurses examined him, they became more aware of how different his anatomy was from other cats'. "Look at these toes," Margo said, holding up a front paw, "No pads… I wonder what that's about…"

"I don't know…" Sarah sighed and frowned as she felt him over for any injuries, "I've heard of cruel people who actually do things like cut the pads off of their pets' feet…"

"I know," Margo nodded grimly, "There are some sick people out there."

"Hey, look at this," Sarah lifted the cat's tail a little, "It's sort of thin… Do you think the fur was just cut?"

"Maybe."

"And look at those ears!"

"Aren't they cute?" Margo rubbed one of the fuzzy orange ears, "They're so big! I've never seen a cat like this before!"

"Yeah, he's weird!"

Once the examination was complete, they gave him his vaccinations and put him back into his cage. As they moved on to their next patient, a Pomeranian that needed stitches in its leg, Sarah said, "Isn't he scheduled for a neuter? The cat, I mean."

"Yep," Margo said, petting the dog on the head reassuringly as it wagged its tail, "Not until next week, though. The doctor's too busy to fit him in earlier. Besides, his owners don't want to bring him home until Christmas. It's a present for their daughter."

"Aww, how sweet!" Sarah sighed as she readied the sedative. Her thoughts drifted away from the orange cat, towards this dog that she was now sedating. However, as she began to prepare the surgical thread, she thought that she heard something from the nearby cage where the orange cat was waking up.

"Bitch…"

TBC

It's more of a filler chapter, but I've already gotten started on chapter three. Hope you liked it!


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